Weddings were a lot of fun when we were kids. We have a huge extended family and these ceremonies were the best excuses for all the cousins and second cousins to meet each other. As we grew up, as an unfortunate offshoot of adulthood, each of us collected prejudices, snobbishness, judgements and biases and the set of people that we looked forward to meeting kept shrinking. Besides, as we inherited the responsibility for running a part of the show, these occasions became less about people and more about the rituals. You would have people running around in auto-pilot mode fixing details without a clue why they are doing it. One person panicking that there is not enough camphor, another distraught that the betel leaves are not folded the right way and a third giving the heavy metal band cues to play the right riffs. The rituals became so much larger than life that I've seen people in my family ostracize others due to disagreements over what ceremonies to follow.
Early today, I realized that I don't have a problem with rituals if people don't attach too much of a significance to them. Macha got married this morning. At 6:30 AM! That's when people are probably at their most benign. The rituals happened, but nobody seemed to have their tails on fire. Then there was Macha bringing his classy unperturbability to everything he does. It was a very pleasant wedding. Everybody should follow this template. Happy married life Macha!
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
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3 comments:
I disagree.
My marriage, conducted in pure TamBrahm methodology, was also scheduled for an early morning one since the muhurat happened to work out then.
Now, I have to tell you that having it that early in the morning did not avoid any of the chaos or mess ups. There were shit-loads of confusion.
Hence Proved. :-) (I have been so meaning to write that in a comment some day)
haha. I think I remember you mentioning that :)
I cant agree with you more about the rituals. Most often they lack any context to the 21st century.
To me it seems a total waste of effort. These meaningless rituals are the ones to cause all the troubles among the people involved all through - from "planning" phase of the wedding; "during" the wedding and "post" wedding too...
But sadly these rituals are over publicised in the society. Following them is the so called "right" thing to do. Making it extremely hard for individuals to make a choice against them. Those who do - hats off to them.
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